Hosted elsewhere: (McSweeney’s Internet Tendency) Valentine’s Day Card Inscriptions Inspired by Submarine Disasters
On Saturday night, I presented to the emergency room and explained that I had eaten an entire Barbie, her limbs and torso disassembled, piece by piece. An urgent endoscopy successfully removed the doll. The parts were sent to the pathology lab, where the technicians immediately recognized my name on the label, because I am the…
Jeffrey: Welcome to another episode of “Defending Charles Bukowski”, where we read randomly selected passages of his novel, Post Office, aloud in front of a man who speaks highly of Bukowski, and that man’s wife. The man in question then must defend Charles Bukowski, to his wife, as a literary genius. I’m your host, Jeffrey…
Congratulations to all the members of the US electorate who saw their candidate confirmed this week. You represent nearly fifty percent of the voting population, apparently, and you are uniquely strong willed. No ocean of evidence or parade of red flags could prevent you from putting your insecurities above the safety of your fellow man.…
You look well. No, I will not explain what that really means, but given the way I emphasized odd parts of the sentence, it’s probably something. Let’s go down to the tea shop on the corner and get drinks. I love their green-juice-base-extra-boatload-of-turmeric latte. Yes I do drink them everyday. Sometimes twice, as a little…
Samples 7/15 13:00 From: operations@immortex.com To: Lab.all@immortex.com Hey guys, We found many boxes of unlabeled samples in the -80C freezer. The removable shelves are only labeled with the letters “HG”. Is that familiar to anyone? We need someone to take ownership of these samples and clear the space by EOD. Go team! – Sadie Re:Samples…
This is a Peter Heppner stan blog.
Pt is a young, well nourished, slightly hysterical woman with an undesirable body fat distribution, complaining of recurrent spontaneous combustion. At time of exam, no combustion was apparent. Pt kept holding up tattered, scorched tennis shoes and insisting that they had been on her body the last time she had unexpectedly burst into flames. Outwardly,…
Ponds, Pebbles, and Porphyria 